Monday, June 18, 2007
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Goals
Goals. That's a word you hear at those motivational seminars your teachers made you attend in high school. Well-intentioned, and even an effective notion, but at the tender age of 16 it almost made you want to roll your eyes. Now I have found that they can actually be quite motivating. Imagine that. Seems that a lot of things that used to make me roll my eyes I have found quite useful these days. Maturity-related?
Today I set some goals - financial and personal. I sat down on my couch with journal in hand, and was surprised at how reluctant I was to write anything down. Why? Maybe it's because I am afraid of committing myself to one goal. Or that I am afraid of making the wrong decisions, and ending up somewhere I wouldn't want to be. Whatever it was, it sure was a stronger feeling than I expected.
So there I was, pen hovering over the page, not making a single mark. And then I just wrote, made some decisions, and smiled.
Being indecisive was something that I always thought would give me freedom. If I didn't make any decisions, then I wasn't tied down to anything. This was especially true of setting goals. If I set goals, I convinced myself so well, then I wouldn't be free to pursue any spur-of-the moment notions that might come along. These thoughts, as it turns out, were extremely limiting. Indecisiveness has led me to feel as though I am being distracted at every turn as I pursue these so-called "good" spur-of-the-moment decisions, and thus getting more frustrated by the day.
So you once I got over the fear (or rather, I made myself not think about it), it felt so good to write something down. To have some things to shoot for; a relatively straight line to travel. I even felt a bit adventurous to be trying some new things. And, fancy this, I felt like I had more freedom than I did before.
Amazing how the very things that you think make you free can limit you, and what you think will limit you will set you free.
And amazing how spending twenty minutes jotting down a few things in your journal can make you feel so good!
Yeah goals! Write 'em down, it's fun stuff!
Today I set some goals - financial and personal. I sat down on my couch with journal in hand, and was surprised at how reluctant I was to write anything down. Why? Maybe it's because I am afraid of committing myself to one goal. Or that I am afraid of making the wrong decisions, and ending up somewhere I wouldn't want to be. Whatever it was, it sure was a stronger feeling than I expected.
So there I was, pen hovering over the page, not making a single mark. And then I just wrote, made some decisions, and smiled.
Being indecisive was something that I always thought would give me freedom. If I didn't make any decisions, then I wasn't tied down to anything. This was especially true of setting goals. If I set goals, I convinced myself so well, then I wouldn't be free to pursue any spur-of-the moment notions that might come along. These thoughts, as it turns out, were extremely limiting. Indecisiveness has led me to feel as though I am being distracted at every turn as I pursue these so-called "good" spur-of-the-moment decisions, and thus getting more frustrated by the day.
So you once I got over the fear (or rather, I made myself not think about it), it felt so good to write something down. To have some things to shoot for; a relatively straight line to travel. I even felt a bit adventurous to be trying some new things. And, fancy this, I felt like I had more freedom than I did before.
Amazing how the very things that you think make you free can limit you, and what you think will limit you will set you free.
And amazing how spending twenty minutes jotting down a few things in your journal can make you feel so good!
Yeah goals! Write 'em down, it's fun stuff!
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Blue Cheese
Addiction rears itself in the oddest places. My current fixation, I am happy to report (as opposed to booze, drugs or cigarettes), is blue cheese. It's a crazy, almost inexplicable obsession...
As a friend of mine put it, in love with a creamy, reeking hunk of mold. Blue-green in color, injected with spores, then allowed to mold to a sinky deliciousness in the darkness of a cave. Mmmm, how stinky - the more powerful the stench the better.
Why does it appeal to me so much, and so often? It's anybody's guess, but I just can't get enough. On salads, sandwiches, crackers, and even just by itself. No amount can satiate my appetite for it, nor sour my palate to its pungent joys.
My favorite combinations: mixed greens+walnuts+raisins+the good stuff+red wine vinaigrette (the less sweet variety). honey+water wheel crackers+blue awesomeness. hamburger+yum+tomatoes. penne+mixed sauteed veggies+cream+blue.
Mmmmm.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Monday, June 4, 2007
Computers
Sometimes it is soooo hard to stay calm when working with computers...
I just spent the last three (yes THREE) hours trying to set up a wireless network. Snag, after snag, after snag. Complicating matters was my kitten playing with the wires, but at least she's cute and friendly...
The dang thing makes no excuses for the frustrations it arouses, and has no motivation to compromise - it only stares back at me with a defiant, infuriating glow. As though trying to taunt. Over and over. Until...I nearly pop, and call tech support trying desperately to keep my cool. Then the tech support guy asks not once, but TWICE to verify my address. Once for him to give me my username. And another to change the password. Both within the confines of a minute... Then a moment of relief, despite my irritation, when the internet is working again, and suddenly gone, when I hang up and realize I'm back at square one because the flipping router refuses to change the settings.
Arrrrrggghh!!!
I sure hope the neighbors didn't hear the commotion...
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Teaching Horsing
I ride horses. That's my thing, one of my true passions in life. And to pass on my knowledge to others has been incredibly rewarding.
This started out as some fix-it lessons here and there for people who needed help with their horses. Then a summer spent in Wisconsin teaching, and I had the experience necessary to do it outside of the more relaxed environments.
Now I've got a nice deal out north of town on Sundays in addition to my regular job. Some extra income and enjoyable to boot (why can't all jobs be like this??): my students are all interested in working hard to achieve their riding goals; any time I want to ride, I've got several horses from which to choose; and the facilities couln't be in a better location - up in the piney woods north of Houston. To get any luckier than that in any one job is, well, I can't think of a better situaion for someone in my current life station.
Today's lessons went so very well. Two of my students have problems with getting their new horses to adjust their speed. We've made some progress through the weeks, but often we had to revisit the same principles of downward transitions and halting.
Today, though, was a breaking point: both students stepped into their riding abilities. And the result was beautiful - two kids riding their horses around in the arena in tune and with lovely rhythm, and able to slow their horses more easily and stop. Ah! How gratifying for all!
Today is also indicative of my own teaching confidence. I went from a bit intimidated and stumbling over my words to being able to pinpoint exactly what was going on and having the words to express it well. What a difference a bit of confidence makes.
Now that I've got confidence in my teaching skills, I feel like I can do anything. 'Cause teaching was one of those things I thought I couldn't do. Neat how one small aspect of your life can make all the difference in the rest.
So Sunday, good day...
Saturday, June 2, 2007
My First Blog
Well, this is my first blog ever. So let's see how this works and how it goes!
I always thought that blogs were just a way for pretentious people to feed their already overblown egos, but it turns out they are just regular pages where people can post about life, opinions good or bad, or share some photos.
The thought of someone being able to read all of my posts is kind of scary, but I think I'll get over it as soon as I get addicted. As always seems to happen to me (and everyone else) with each new online phenomenon I catch hold of. I've fended off myspace and facebook, so my internet addiction needs a new venue to express itself.
Trying to decide what I am going to use this page has proven a difficult task. But I think that at least for now, I'll keep it to anything and everything. More interesting that way anyway.
So welcome to my blog. Hope you enjoy.
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