Staying in the Middle

I'm a horse person, and as such I have the tendency to compare life to the art of riding. One who is not acquainted to this art would be surprised to learn that there are some useful things to take away with you after every ride.

Those who have kept up with my life and/or blog know that I bought J.B., my first horse ever, in March. After a period of freaking out and doing my best not to call myself insane, it has become one of the best things I've ever done for myself. To say the least, it's so nice to be able to go out and ride and iron a few things out in my mind. To say the most, I can say I have a new best friend.

I managed to find an excellent barn where I could keep him. My trainer specializes in dressage, an english-style type of riding that emphasizes the proper, balanced movement of the horse. At first glance this seems pretty straightforward and easy, but when a rider is added to the horse's equation it's a long road of learning for the horse to move as he naturally would with this new weight atop his back.

Both J.B. and I are new to dressage. This makes progress difficult for both of us. Add to that the fact that he is a flighty thoroughbred and the concentration factor is much less. But wow, have we made some progress. And with just one basic principle.

My trainer is constantly reminding me to keep J.B. moving in the middle with straight line through poll, shoulders and haunches. A crucial element is to keep the energy of his motion centered through my shoulders all the way down to my calves. I've gotten a sense of feeling now that allows me to detect missteps outside of that square. On his part, he has developed a sensitivity to my slight corrections with seat and leg that keep him right in the middle.

That is what we have worked on over the last several months. And a good indication of how difficult this new discipline can be for horse and rider.

An important aspect of our progress has been my learning to keep myself in balance even if he is out of balance. If he goes right, I have to correct him on the left rather than follow him to the right, or vice versa. A constant re-shifting of his energy through my own sense of balance - I have had to learn what feels right in my body and get him there through persistence and consistency. This lesson has been difficult both in mind and body, but with time we have been able to correct ourselves more quickly and easily.

After a good ride, when I have kept myself centered and gotten the results with J.B., I walk away wanting to apply it to my own life. Wouldn't it be nice to combat all of those tugging forces in life with your own inner sense of balance? To be sure of what your balance is and what you need to maintain it is the gift of hard work and diligence in seeking to know yourself. With that will come the confidence to go for it or ask for it. Indeed it would make life easier, and filled with so much more happiness.

These are the thoughts I enjoy post-ride when I am washing off my calmer and happier horse. Revelations of this kind have not only enriched my relationship with my horse, but have slowly improved my own life as I have learned to apply them.

Thank goodness for the horses in my lives. What would I know about life if it weren't for them?

Big Change = Good?

Last January I began my newest and biggest adventure yet in life. I decided to dive head-first into a career change, which involved re-programming my brain into math and science-type thinking.

I spent some time in Houston after earning my undergraduate degree in International Studies working for a consulting company specializing in regulatory matters relating to the petroleum industry. The job was enjoyable, and I learned a great deal about myself and the unknown "real world." I found that I could flourish in this big scary place, and that I was capable of working hard and getting good results. At the end of the day, some pretty great life lessons.

It was also an opportunity to explore what was out there. We did do some environmental permitting and often worked with environmental scientists to gather the required information for such permits. After spending some time with these guys/gals, I learned that that sort of work would be an excellent fit for me. And so, I made the biggest (and scariest) decision of my life.

Now here I am in grad school, pursuing a masters in Geochemistry. Geology chemistry. Looking back at my only half a year so far, I've learned so much and made so much progress. It has been far from easy, though. My first semester involved calculus, chemistry, and geologic field methods. It was a huge hump to overcome. But I kicked ass and, well, built a bit of character along the way. To say the least. Anything really worth having often doesn't come easily. Through the blood, sweat and tears has emerged a sense of accomplishment.

With the next semester fast approaching (tomorrow!), I'm reflecting on my previous semesters. Mostly to give myself a bit of confidence. This next one is going to be a doozy - 14 hours of heavyweight classes and three lab sections to teach. Time management skills will come into play here. Heh! I know I can do it, though, and will emerge on the other side having learned a lot.

And so is this big change a good thing? Overwhelmingly yes. Despite the stress and worry, it's those little moments of quiet when I realize what I have accomplished that tell me it's worth it. Most importantly, though, is the realization that I really am doing something that is fulfilling and in alignment with my values. That I am acting instead of just dreaming.

So wish me luck this semester!

Checking Back In

Whoa. It has been quite a few months that I have abandoned this thing. And I can't make any promises that it won't happen again.

School happened. I started classes and all this stuff went by the wayside. But this time, writing may be my saving grace.

And so, I hope this will be a first post of many regulars.

Dream Reality?

So I just did the craziest thing I've ever done in my life.

First, storytime.

The last Sunday of spring break, I decided to ditch studying and go play with the horses at Connie's barn, where I used to teach. I normally ride just a few lesson horses and call it a day. After getting off ol' Jack, Connie told me about a couple of jumpers for sale. I remembered having the opportunity to ride one of them the last time I was out there and regretted not taking advantage. So I piped up and we got to saddling up Escaret, a nice-looking thoroughbred, with the owner standing by.

I appreciated the ride, and had a great time taking him over a few jumps. He was quite the jumper, using his neck dramatically to power over the osbtacles.

After hopping off Escaret I got an invite from the owner to come over to his barn to watch him school a few lesson horses and his schoolmaster, Jabula Jahomba (say it aloud, and with vigor!).

Horse and rider were going round the course, and my jaw dropped at the athleticism and charisma of this horse. He snapped his knees up over each obstacle and cantered elastically on to the next to repeat with fluidity.

The trainer on site offered me a ride on the horse. Yes! Yessss!!! I took him over a few jumps and a gymnastic line of jumps and was quite wowed.

I left after watching a few other horses worked, and called up Connie to thank her for allowing me to come out and ride. I also told about my ride with Jabula and how impressed I was with him. She seemed surprised, as he is a bit on the high-strung side, but was glad that I had a fun ride. Out of curiosity, I asked what his selling price was. (With zero intention, mind you.) She quoted a very accessible price, and in my excitement I blurted "Oh, I think I can do that!"

My (strong and persuasive) rational side screaming in protest all the while.

It has all been a steady series of events since then. And everything has been going surprisingly swimmingly. I rode him once more to be sure, had a vet check arranged, got my finances and horse board in order, and I am now officially a new horse owner. As of March 30, 2008. Indeed I will mark that day on the calendar as the most memorable holiday of all my years. Seventeen years in waiting!

And now, the dust is settling, and I'm to put my game plan into play. The day to day maintenance required for horses I have been familiar with through books and actual horse owners is something I am now able to do. My class schedule allows for early morning rides and visits on alternating days. Early, so that I will have my days for school. And everything, so far, is working well.

Though my mind at times is calling me the craziest person alive, I always come to the realization that this is probably one of the best things I've ever done for myself. The feeling I get from just being around horses is such a deep sense of satisfaction, and to have my own horse to care for and work with as a team is already becoming one of the most gratifying experiences I've ever had. I feel incredibly fortunate and grateful to have this opportunity and the guts to carry it out. I am looking forward to the coming years with JB.

This post definitely wouldn't be complete without pictures. Tell me what you think!

Funny Stuff

I made several attempts over the weekend to post, but my writing ability has temporarily broken down. While under repair, here's something for a few laughs that I got in my email today.

This is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an Indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

11. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you

14. Glibido : All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Enjoy!

Slow down!

So far, the last few weeks have been crazy. School, and more school. I forgot how busy I was back when I was an undergraduate student. It never seems to stop, either. Going from classes, to study time, to exercise, to time spent with friends. Penciling in some relaxation time is the only way to get it. Ten minutes to close your eyes here, fifteen to sit outside and have a cup of tea. But then as soon as things get crazier than they already had been, those few minutes are used for more productive activities.

Those few minutes, however, are often the most important of the day. If I even spend a couple of minutes to sit and give myself a momentary perspective check, I'm so much more level-headed and productive. How often I forget this, I can't believe. And every time I go for too fast for too long, it's apparent in everything. My relationships are strained, I teeter on the edge of overworking myself, and life just gets muddy-looking.

Thankfully I've learned to recognize it and do something about it. It's so important to put things into perspective and to remember why I am here. But every time tests come up or a string of assignments are due, it's an extra challenge to get myself to slow down and remember to enjoy the ride. If only I do, things will go so much more smoothly.