As I was driving to Canyon Lake the other night, I was pulled over by a cop near Podunkville, Texas. One of my front lights was out, and I had been hyper-aware of it for a few days already. I was on a state highway: notorious for cops driving slowly on the shoulder skimming for traffic-related infractions.
I'm sure you all know that "oh s*^%" feeling when a cop turns around suddenly from the other side of the road. Like a snake spinning around at scent of prey, and you the mouse, wide-eyed, knowing you're a goner. I knew he was going for me. Damn.
He turned his lights on, and there was nowhere safe to pull over - no shoulder, nothing. So I turned my blinker on and kept going, but much more slowly. This was a mistake. The cop sounded the siren and turned his spotlight on me, conveying to me his irritation. So I made a bigger mistake - I suddenly changed lanes and pulled into a parking lot on the other side of the road.
The cop quickly got out of his car and switched his flashlight on me and is looking in my car. Looking no doubt for the 10 kilos of cocaine and cache of machine guns in the backseat (shhhh...).
I apologized that I took longer than normal to pull over (5-10 seconds is an eternity in cop-time), and that I was just looking for a safe spot. He was peeved, and told me that he thought something was going on in the car (note to self - Raoul Duke is a terrible role model). He also said he didn't appreciate my "stunt" to get into the parking lot.
He seemed to loosen up a bit when he saw that I was actually a polite person. But then, two more "infractions": my insurance card was expired by a week, and my address wasn't current.
I thought that maybe the cop would go easy on me, because it was pretty apparent that I was your basic law-abiding citizen. Except when I don't notify DPS of my change of address. He was, for some reason, very upset about that. The cop didn't cite me for the headlight (my big break, I suppose) but he sure as hell was pissed that I didn't change my effing address.
The town of Martindale, Texas, is also apparently very upset when the DPS is not notified of a change of address. In fact, they are so threatened by my "failure" to notify that they are inclined to charge me $157.
I also got a ticket for my expired insurance card, but that's easily fixable.
I would hate to be a cop, because I would just hate to issue citations. Especially to people who aren't interested in giving you attitude so you can justify it. How do you...deliver a ticket to such a person?
This guy returned from his car and was extremely cheery and polite. He asked me to "sign here" as though he were closing out a sale at JC Penny's. And then the parting...thank you? Do you say thank you? Have a good night? This dude just gave me two tickets that value over $400 combined. What do I even say? Hey man, thanks for the fine! I hope it helps pay for that brand new courthouse! *ding*
What an awkward situation.
So now...I've got to cough up $157. We all know how exasperating it is to spend that kind of money on those kinds of things. Don't worry, though, lesson learned. For crying out loud, don't forget to notify the frikin' DPS when you move!
9 comments:
It was unreasonable for him to be upset you were looking for a safe place to pull over!
I had a couple of cops come to my house when my dog was stolen from my backyard and I overheard one say to the other "Fuckin' dog search, I guess that'll teach us not to skip our lunch!"
I went up to him and said "this is my dog whom I love but maybe it makes a difference to you if I tell you he's worth 2 Grand?!"
The other cop was all apologetic telling me about his dog but I've had plenty of bad experiences with cops.
Maybe I should stop breaking the law! :op
Yeah...I haven't had the best experiences with them either. A lot seem to have (being nice) a jaded worldview.
Whoa! Did this happen to you after our interesting weekend???
Bless your heart, my girl!
Well...if it makes you feel any better, your experience made for a very amusing story. I needed a good laugh today (not at your expense...please know!). Your writing is very engaging.
I hope to get back to writing myself. I may just sit down and just type some stuff and see what comes out. Have gotten out of the habit and you know what can happen when the momentum is lost. So.....gotta just do what my title says to do and 'just write', I guess.
Really enjoyed our talk on Sunday. And thanks for introducing me to that hummus from Houston! YUM!
Glad you could get a good laugh from my unfortunate event. heheheee.
It was actually humorous as it was happening. When the cop came out with the ticket it took everything not to laugh...only could think...is this guy for real??
You are most welcome about the hummus. Dont worry youll be getting the hookup soon enough!
The feeling is completely mutual about sunday...awesome talk with an awesome lady!
Looking forward to the hummus hook up soon!!! Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. :) When you're in town next, let me know. Perhaps we can meet for coffee or lunch somewhere. I always feel like we have so much to catch up on and never enough time to catch up. Do you feel that too?
I had a meeting w/ Mackenzie's teacher yesterday (Parent/teacher conference) and we were talking about Mackenzie's reading and writing ability. She, like others in our family.....'eats' books and writes fairly well. I told her teacher about my blog and that I let Mackenzie be my 'editor' from time to time before I put stuff out there. I also told her about you and how I always let Mackenzie read your blogs, too and how Mackenzie looks forward to reading both our blogs (she always asks me, "Did you and Cissy blog today?"). Her teacher was absolutely thrilled with this idea of exposing her to another form of reading and to another way to write. I told the teach that you and I have different writing styles and that I felt it was good for Mackenzie to be exposed to this. The teach agreed. SO....MY POINT is (ha ha) that I'm grateful (once again) for this great blogging thing you have introduced to me. Doing that has extended the benefits far beyond just myself. It has also affected my daughter and my daughter's teacher. Thought you'd want to know! :)
I will try to comment on my blog back to you (did that make sense?) if I get to it (busy day ahead as always! rrrrrr. looking forward to some down time soon.) Good news! The cement shoes were a non-option for me today! I chose the other ones this morning (they match my outfit better!).
Thanks for your concern.
Love, Aunt Katie
awwww...I have to say...that story makes me feel pretty warm and fuzzy!
and yes...I do feel that way too...as though we have soooo much to catch up on, and never enough time to do it in one sitting! We could have sat out there for hours and done that. Isnt that awesome?
I'll definitely give you a call next time I'm in town!
ha! this is my favorite entry yet!
I know that terrified mouse feeling! and worst of all... im sure the cop knows it, too. i know they'rte just people like you and me, but... still.... ill bet they loooovvvee pressing that 'flashing lights and sirens' button. and i always told you... no stunt-driving! but you just thought i was being a pansy...
yeah, i wonder how long it takes... before cops can freely give tickets to nice, polite people. 'cause they never seem to hesitate. when i got my ticket in maine this summer, I was as polite as i've ever been. but he still wrote me a huuggee ticket, just because i was going twice the speed limit. (for the record i didn't know the limit)
and i still have two more to read. life is good!
I remember your saying something about a ticket. Wasn't it really close to your mom's house or something? I don't know the speed limit there either. How do you know when there's not a sign posted for miles??
They don't care, as long as they meet their quota for the month.
TWICE THE SPEED LIMIT!! no wonder he refused to tell me how fast he was going.
a few summers ago, daniel got two tickets in the exact same spot on the rt. 129 in south bristol. got one going DOWN (89 mph), with the cop saying "give me one good reason why i shouldn't throw you in jail". and got another, two weeks later, going UP. the kicker was that the second time, he was on his way to court to plead for mercy on the first one.
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